Leyheru, the Half-Elf Monk

(Taken from one Professor Lystulliv, at the University of Al Drifa) Miss Lylambelle,

Listen to the edifying story of Leyheru, instead of powdering your nose at any time, or sending small notes to the girl on your right. I guess it’s one of these stupid poems? Or an invitation to this Dwarven Devastators party this Saturday? Believe me young one; Dwarven Devastators parties will make you deaf before you get old! But I don’t intend to try to be your father... Listen and take a leaf out of my book... you have to study in order to be successful, even if you are bound to heal Troll feet all your life; and it seems to me you’ll end up that way if you keep on following this disappointing path of yours.

Leyheru worked hard, and she really deserved something better: she had a bad memory, and her parents, who were extremely poor, couldn’t think of anything better than sending her into the dark forest to gather dead wood, or giving her a rabbit to skin, though she would have preferred to study her book of incantations and formulae. She was indeed one of Oshyir’s pupils, and thanks to the "Quotas on Underprivileged Populations Assistance act", she had more or less been chosen at random to be the poor girl the law required. Besides that, her legs looked like circumflexes, because of hereditary problems that are beyond the topic we are discussing today. An awful way of starting a life, I must admit.

Well, miss Lylambelle the Lazy One, do you have any idea of what Leyheru could do after she graduated in Monk Sciences? She could levitate, you hear that? She could levitate and paralyze her enemies’ negative thoughts! In fact, she used the Second Principle of Physics: she simply transformed negative energy into negative gravity!

Oh, and mister Lyllkrank! Do you remember that old saying, "If idiots could fly, they would believe they were wild ducks"? Well, it is based on scientific truth: you can measure the force of inertia created by a dunce like yourself! If you asked her, I’m sure you could turn flies into ashes, which is quite useful already, especially in summer days. Now, imagine the formidable power coming from a band of trolls running down a hill! A wise monk knows how to concentrate this energy and to use it in order to fly in front of them, to lift three dozen of them up to twenty five meters above the ground, and to let them understand how much their shotting trouble the universal harmony of things. For one of the side-effects, although quite interesting, of the Art of Monks is that it can convert people: especially in front of such spectacular things, even a stupid Troll eventually realizes that he was bad. So, he starts to think, and decides to be smarter in the future. Then, all this hateful energy that allowed him to levitate twenty five meters above the ground suddenly disappears... See the side-effect here?

Leyheru had a ring, Leyheru Mire, or "Leyheru’s Jewel". Is it hidden in the place that bears the same name? That would be too easy. But you do not come to the University to dream about jewels, do you? Now please open your notebook: let’s learn more about the First Common Spell of the Monks of Ganreth. It transforms wine into water. Use it wisely, especially in Half-Orc taverns in Dark territories.

Egham oheru helpinar rhagz...