The peace has ended and the golden war will start soon...

[~Ice~]

The night was late and it was raining like the lakes of Rander had broken ontop of them .Mandorn only had his usual customers in his Inn at the moment, he was worried for one of his regulars hasnt been in for the past 3 days. Whilst he was wondering what could've happend, a Dwarf with a cloak walked in, the cloak was of fine craft and so was the axe that he was holding. The room fell into silence for knowone had had recognized who it was, for strangers werent that commen lately, they just gazed at the short walking figure. The mysterious dwarf pushed off the soaked hood of the cloak. Mandor recognized the tired and wornout looking face "Dunskin you bugger where have you been!", "mining at ye old Carlorn mountains" dunskin replied, "Carlorn mountains! you should know better not to go there especially not on your own" Mandor scolded, "I know I know, but i couldnt find anyone to come with me, so i went on my own, the mining went really good there i came back with 2 carts of iron ore". Dunskin walked further to the counter and asked for a Dark strong Ale and a plate of steak. Whilst waiting for his food to come he lifted up his finely forged double edged Axe onto the counter, Mandor came along and looked at the fine axe aswell. "Do you think it will ever have to see real action anytime soon", "I hope not" replied Dunskin.
Mandor brought over the Steak and ale. You know asked Mandor i havent seen Argoth lately and allot of noises have been heard coming from the dark woods of Eltorn you know, especially since the last fortnight.....

so what do you think of it so far
comments or changes that you think i should make would be grateful


[Edited on 23/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 23/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 24/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Seton]

I like it, good beginning with that rain description! I think you forgot to "do this" in the last line so it was a bit confusing. He probably will have to use that axe in the near future won't he ;)

[DivZ3r0]

yea nice beginning, and u have no limitations about the rest of the story, so im looking forward to the next chapter . . But whatever axe u got, what out for leafren, because he will toss u . . btw has anyone seen our fameous dwarf tosser these days?

[~Ice~]

hmm good to see that you like it :) , and yes he will have to use it soon hehe :hallucine:
*Dwarf tosser lost 500 gp for who finds him* :)
i will probaly post part 2 today or tommorow

[Edited on 24/3/2003 by ~Ice~]





Your right mandor said Dunskin, it has been rather odd lately and it's not usual for Argoth to not come. At that moment a Tall figure came in, it was human and by the looks of the two swords he was carrying it would be Argol who is Argoths older brother. Argol had this worrysome look on his face for he had not seen his brother for the past 5 days. Argol sat next to Dunskin and orderd a Dragon mead of which was Mandors own special brew. As the worrysome face faced towards Dunskin the following words came out with hope of releif " have you seen my brother when you were gone?"
"no" replied Dunskin with a small tention of confusion to that Angol hasnt even seen his own brother. Angol had a look of despair on his face. For now it was quiet for everyone noticed the sad look on Angols face. After what had seem like a decade Angol started to talk he said that he was in the woods of Eltorn when he was attacked by an Orc, he fears that his brother might have been attacked too and wasnt equipped with a weapon to defend himself.
Dunskin told him not to worry for he will be back soon.
Another stranger walked in, this one had the build of an elf. The stranger was holding two black arrows, the people fell into a hole of silence for they knew that a black arrow was when the king wants to see people for an important event......

[Edited on 24/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 25/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 25/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[DivZ3r0]

well that 500gp for me then, because i went over to the project-entropia channel and asked why he hadnt been at the forums :p

[~Ice~]

* hands over 500 imaginary gp*

SO what do you all think of my story so far?

any comments..

[Edited on 24/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Pistols]

It's pretty damn sweet. I've always wanted to write stuff like that, I start off well, but usually start to forget to describe things as I think of them. So I know whats goin on but no-one else does.
You seem to have no problem there. The descriptions you've given, from the rain at the start to the Dragon Mead, have been good and help create the story as a picture in my mind. (maybe a bit more description as to the features/faces of the characters, or is that to slowly unfold with the staory?)

[DivZ3r0]

Hey pistol, I taught i had a BIG signature, but he there are always people who want have it bigger and bigger :P

[Seton]

Second part good too, Ugh!
Me want some Dragon mead like Angol, Ugh!
Me first light up sigaret, uche uche uche, Ugh!

[~Ice~]

thanx everyone and pistols the features of the other characters will unfold in the story
probably gooing to post next piece today

[Pistols]

Look forward to it ~Ice~.

Lol, my signature is bigger than I thought. I might scale it down soon. Just a little.

but for now, just to save sapace I'll do this....



Yep. No signature.

Pistols.

(edit: I've now shrunk it to 80%)
(which is/was better?)

[Edited on 25/3/2003 by Pistols]

[Edited on 25/3/2003 by Pistols]

[~Ice~]

sorry i didnt continue today my neighbour came over today so i couldnt write my story in peace.. it will defenitely be in tommorow

[Edited on 25/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Seton]

Oh no, the agony, waiting another day? I don't think I can handle it :P

[~Ice~]

awe spread in like a disease in the room as for everyone knew that it was getting less safe outside cities, and war would arrive again, and take many souls just like the sword would take away a persons warmth. This did not worry the three friends as for they have all fought before for their king, who's power was like a rock balanced on a thin pole. Yet again that stone had fallen. The Elf walked upto the three of them, he sat next to them and order a Mead and some food. Dunskin saw allot of dented and missing rings in this Elf's chainmail. Dunskin stood up and placed himself next to the stranger. Whilst the Elf was sipping at his mead, dunskin asked what had happend to his armour. The elf replied with gasps for air, that he was ambushed right before he reached this town at after telling him what had happend he asked if they were Argol and a Dunskin for the descriptions that he was given seemed to fit both these characters. Dunskin smiled and told him that they were. Once hearing that the elf introduced himself, his name was Kaverin. After talking with them for a while he told them that the king wants to see them in Maledrach inside the castle there. Kaverin told them he will see them in the Castle and wished them a safe journey through the Eltorn wood....


coming up to some fighting in the next one :)

[Edited on 26/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 26/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 26/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Pistols]

Cool, gettin better and better.

on a completely unrelated note... I just got a job!
Weekends at the moment startin a week on sat.
I'll finally be earnin some cash. :cool: :cool: :cool:
I'm goin to Uni (to the bar) to celebrate. See you all in 2 days....

[Bluenose]

Nice story ice, getting quite intresting :)

[~Ice~]

would you beleive me if i said that this is my first time writing story's
because it is

[IronMonk]

i think your title is great, fits the work awsome, seeing th at golden is usually used to describe peace, but the war is so expected and almost yearned for by tht echaractors, more description could be used, i hope to see it in the competition, you wont be seeing anything from me untill it is totally compleat, i want to really shock you all, but i will continue to help out all i can with everyone elses storyies, but im off to school to think of my next chapter, work?!? bah! i need no stinking work*

remeber everyone, there is a spoon and i use t to eat pudding

[~Ice~]

you'll see me in the competition, i'll try to fit in more detail for the contest one, war is in sight in a way so thats why they all carry weapons :)... i'll differ some parts in the competition so you dont see the characters ready for war, they will get their stuff instead

[Shazi]

Nice :), very nice :)

[~Ice~]

hope your job goes well pistols

After Kaverin left a surprising thought struck Dunskin just as if he was ambushed and shot by an arrow which came from an unknown corner. Kaverin didnt have an arrow for Mandor this puzzled him for the three were called together the two times they had to fight for their untrustworthy king. He decided not to discuss this for it might displease Mandor. Argol and Dunskin agreed to meet eachother the next day at mid day at The market for they decided it wouldnt be good if they met outside The Red Dragon Inn
for Mandor might see them outside getting ready to go.
The next day arrived, Dunskin got out his Chainmail and his double sided axe out he also took his fathers two small axes which were made beutifully with patterns and golden ridges allot of people called it a gift from the Morian gods , put his overwhelming cloak on and left. The enormous figure standing in the middle of the market could be knowone else but Argol for he was a tall well buildt man. Argol greeted the dwarf with a sign of unrest on his face, Dunskin was good with telling what the people were feeling by looking at their faces. Argol seemed to be ageing every since he has been worrying about his brother. They both left the city of Kromath towards the
dark woods of Eltorn. Once inside the woods visability was almost nothing..
Dunskin and Argol were discussing why Mandor wasnt called up once the stumble into a trap made by some orc's. The orc's jumped out in a disorderly fashion, there were 3 orcs, two were heading towards Argol and one towards Dunskin. Dunskin took out his two small axes and threw them at the charging orc, the orc quickly lifted up his shield and caught one of the axes on it, the other axe missed and drifted into the never ending darkness. The orc reached close combat range and swung his club at Dunskin, he hit him on his left shoulder, this ripped a hole in his cloak. Dunskin took out his finely forged double axed and tried to hit the orc, dunskin hit the orc but on his shield the mighty hit from Dunskin broke the shield in two, his second hit on the orc got the orc in the chest, this openend up his chest like a spring. Argol was fighting the other two with his dual swords, he hit one orc in the arm this sliced the orc arm off like a stone falling throught the water, the orc fell to the ground in pain. The second orc took advantage of Argol being off guard for a split second and hit Argol in the chest the strong and unknown swing flung him to the ground, the orc walked upto Argol and steadied his Club the orc was at half swing, just a little bit away from Argols head but at the mercy of the Glorian gods, Dunskin looked at the broken shield and picked up his fathers small axe and threw it straight into the middle of the orcs head, Argol saw the orc at half swing but then noticed it fall backwards to the ground like a tree that was cut down in the middle of Eltorn forest, with no view of it falling but the sound shook all around....

[Edited on 30/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Edited on 31/3/2003 by ~Ice~]

[Shazi]

Hmm, some spelling mistakes and a bit too much orc-slaughter for me (;) :P) but still a good story :D

[Isenhorn]

You can never have to much Orc slaughter, that's what makes a great novel.

[Pistols]

lol, yeah, neverimind.

Sometimes Orc's just get in your way.
Even when you're Dark.

I'm likin the story still.

I may start one at some point.... not sure. I usually haven't got the patience. or the skill.

[windwalker]

Yes is good story.Keep it up.
(Go for it Pistols,you never know,lot of hidden talent around these boards}

Mine must be completly lost though.lol

[Edited on 31/3/2003 by windwalker]

[sakuragi]

;)

keep up a good work.u have a talent to explore more of your skill Ice!!!

hehehe maybe u will be famous soon :cool:

[Fhman]

Nice fight sequence. It's getting even more interesting with each installment

[ConjurerOfEvil]

wow, one word to desciber ure story so far.. wow! lol, yes its a very well written story, keeps me reading, i can rarely find a book that makes me wanna keep reading, but ures hits the spot! keep coming with the stories, i enjoy reading them,, keep up the good work! :)

[~Ice~]

sorry i totally forgot about my story here
ill post the next 2 or 3 parts in atleast 4 days
so there will be quite a bit of new things to read soon

[Edited on 7/5/2003 by ~Ice~]

[SantaClaus]

Nice story.
I wrote a lot of storys myself and i know how much work there is behind such a story :)

[Tubalcain]

hey, like the story Ice, you obviously have a vivid imagination. One constructive criticism- when mid-battle don't linger on weapon descriptions- distracts a bit and slows the pace.
You'd make a good gamesmaster.

[~Ice~]

thanks, ill use your technique in fighting a bit more often then seems like a good idea, but for smaller battles ill keep the description like it is i think, once it comes to bigger battles ill probably use your way
thank you for the comment :)

[Gara]

oooh, rain. i like rain, and axes too!

sets a real nice mood.

[windwalker]

I was wonderig why you left us waiting. ;)

Been alot of stuff going on tho,I forget alot because I'm so old. lol

[~Ice~]

ok here comes another part

Argol struggled to sit himself up for the blow of the orc was devastating. Dunskin walked over to the dead orc and pulled out his trowing axe out of it's head, when he did so he noticed he was standing in the in the blood of the orc. Dunskin walked over to Argol and sat next to him. Argol tried to thank Dunskin but he couldnt for it was too painful to talk a the moment. Dunskin just sat there in silence reflecting how close to death they were, but with the mercy of the Glorian gods they will live on. They both were staring into nothingness for nothing could be seen but slight shades of shadow, one particular one caught Dunskins eye. Dunsik stood up and walked towards it, it was a body of a small elf he also saw his other axe lying near it. Dunskin didnt want to call over Argol for he was in pain, he turned the body of the elf overhimself. The boy was brutally killed but was still holding a black arrow. Dunskin picked it up and picked up his axe and walked towards Argol. Dunskin showed Argol the arrow and read the note that was with it "Dear Mandor I the king would like you to come to Maledrach for we will be having an important meeting there". Dunskin now understood why he wasnt asked to come for his runner had been killed, this was a great loss for they were too far away to get him it was closer to just continue to Maledrach. They decided to stay the night in the haunted woods of Eltorn, it would be a strange night indeed for both of them. Argol and Dunskin both fell asleep after having some of Mandors Dragon ale his specialty. Argol kept visioning his brother being attacked by those same orcs that attacked them except for Dunskin wasnt there to save him. The torture went on till morning.....

[Twill]

keep it coming Ice.

nice story

[~Ice~]

WOOO found my old story :) ... will probably continue this soon

[Nevar_Darkmoon]

Ice, thank you for showing why RPing is good.
It is so much more to have a character that is fleshed out by deed and word than just the senseless hack and slash.
Your story is great... i hope you keep it moving.

[Yogie]

Awesome story IcE, you told me to look at this and it is very good. :-D You my friend, are special ;). Haha

[Rang3r]

cool m8, but remember, dwarfs have to be cool, make em say cool things and everything will go great o0

[~Ice~]

haha i'll try and have him say something cool sometime... dont worry, need to get a move on and get an addition to it

[Revalence]

Agrees with Nevar.

Good job ice.

[RandAlThor]

Ya ice this is great, but give a little more detail to surroundings when they're just about to be attacked or if it is a super important place.