Mako i challenge you!!!

[IronMonk]

*summens battle arena*

*trips over cucumber*

i know your here mako, i challenge you to a duel!

[Mako]

*jumps out from behind fallen dodo*

Damn it! Oh, well. I accept your duel, witless knave! Draw whatever weapon you choose and let's get our battle on!

*draws and brandishes "Flogging Stick"(tm)*

[IronMonk]

ahhhh, i should have realized that smell was you... rotting dodo smells more like almonds


*pulls out and waves his IronPen(tm)*

only one of us will walk away...

*waves pen, yells some arcane rune and Mako's left shue dissapears*

[Mako]

Well, that's a neat trick. However, unfortunately for you, I had no left foot anyways! Muhahahaha! Now, I'll teach you a little trick I call the "Smith"!

*stabs air with hand*

*duplicates self*

And for good measure

*knocks IronPen(tm) out of IronMonk's hands with Flogging Stick(tm)*

[IronMonk]

ha ha now i can truly tell you to eat yourself, and anyways IronPen(tm) comes ina 24 pack...

*brandishes new pen*

as for your twin

*chants another rune*

*duplicates himself without pants*

hmm i seem to have mispronounced somethign wrong

oh well clone attack his clone!

[Mako]

Crap! And no more cloning.. I'm limited to one clone a day. Damn. OH, well... I can always call on good ol'... R2-D2! Go, R2! Shock his azz good!

*R2 shocks some IronMonk azz*

Now, clone! Finish off his clone so he can't clone anymore and then clone his clone clone!

Aw, hell.

*whacks IronMonk's clone with Flogging Stick*

What will you do now, IronMonk? What will you do now?!

[IronMonk]

awww... i... um.. a hell SCRIPT

*techie runs in with a script*

*IronMonk read script*

*smacks himself in forehead*

*pulls out several IronPens(tm) and hurls them at R2 destroying his fragile innerds*

now for you and your clone

*summons icecream truck driving by, runs over clone*


[Edited on 22/5/2003 by IronMonk]

[Mako]

Damn you, ice cream truck! There is only one wawy to counter such evil - dueling banjos!

*pause*

No, wait. That would suck in text from. So...

*calls in airstrike*

*clone=napalmed*

Ah hah! I love the smell of... you know the rest. Now, one on one combat! Let us begin!

[IronMonk]

just you and me now Mako, Just you and me....
one question, do feminine odours get you down...
bahahahahah

*summons a huge bag of used "feminine hygene products* over Mako's head*

*pulls string, Mako gets barried up to his neck*

[Mako]

AH! That, my friend, is the height of bad manners! Now, I school thee....

*conjures large group of Pokemon loving schoolchildren*

Go, mindless minion!

*IronMonk is surrounded and brainwashed by children*

IronMonk-....where's my damn Pikachu at?

Mako- Muhahahaha! You have done well, annoying peons!

[IronMonk]

...... pikachu.....charmander... *slaps himself*


*idea bulb flashses overhead*


hey everyone look its a bulbasour!

*points at Mako*

*Mako gets pelted by pokeballs*

[Mako]

Ow, damn!

*hurls Pester Balls*

Fak off, ye limey buggers! I'm no Bulbasaur, I'm... uh... KickYourAssAnder!

*crowd dissolves*

Now, for my über Kendo move!

*jumps in air*

*points Flogging Stick downward and hurtles down like a hawk*

*IronMonk, naturally, slowly sidesteps*

Mako- Oh snap.

[IronMonk]

*boots Mako in the shin*

*starts dooing the moogle dance*

*Mako blinks*

*dances more*

*Mako blinks again*

*IronMonk grabs Mako by the shirt and starts beating his arse like a red headed step child*

*then pokes him in the eye with IronPen(tm)

[Mako]

Ow! Titanic... strength... draining.... must.. regain... power...

*summons and chugs can of Jone's Whoop Ass*

Ahahah! Now, with this tender and delicious dose of caffiene coursing through my veins, I can..

*picks IronMonk up*

...throw you...

*hurls IronMonk*

....like...

*IronMonk lands in still-steaming pile of "feminine hygeine products, entire head disappears in a sea of white*

...a rag doll!

[IronMonk]

*screames erupt from pile of nastieness*

*faint red glow surounds pile*

*the outer ones start to catch fire*

*they start to move and reshape themselves into monsterous Feminine hygene golum*

*Golum screams and destroys itself, casting itself into nearest valcano*

*IronMonk grabs discarded cucumber adn hurls it at Mako's forehead*

[Mako]

*goes into bullet-time*

*dodges and grabs cucumber from air*

And now, it seems I have the advantage! For once more, I will turn this simple vegetable-like unit of sustenance into a heartless, mindless killing machine with absolutely no mercy whatsoever!

*chants random rune like stuff he heard on TV*

*Cucumber grows... and grows... and gorws.... and turns into Rosie O'Donnell*

And now, invincible pawn. Finish him!

*Rosie Cucumber starts singing "Cats"*

[IronMonk]

*summons ear plugs*

*tosses a pair to Mako*

what im not heartless thats just plane crule

*starts danceing and chanting runes of encreadible power, sigils of every thinkable form flash inthe air, balls of fire leap fromteh torches ringing the arena. the Fireballs start to move withteh rytherm of the chanting surrounding everyhting. followingthe fireballs the light fromthe stars themselves join in. just as the spectacle comes to a close standing in front of him is Richard Simmins*

two can play at this game Mako!

[Mako]

Damnation! Well, you seem to forget that a. I still have earplugs and b. Rosie is still on the loose. Observe!

*Rosie's songs make Richard's head explode and vice versa*

Ahh. No more "music". And now...

*summons Donkey Kong (the old-school one) above*

*DK starts rolling barrels at IronMonk, and unstoppable tide of wooden death*

Oh yeah, and by the way your little light-show was insignificant next to the power of the Force. And it was totally unnecessary. But it looked mighty purdy!

[IronMonk]

interesting..

*jumps over barrle*

*andother idea bulb flashes above*

*singeing donkey kong's hair*

*summons ape-whore*

*donkey kong obveously distracted runns after ape in tight pants.*

*IronMonk launches counterattack*

*summens good friend Wong Fei Hong*

*Fei Hong whups Mako's with big stick.*

[Mako]

Ow!

*summons ficticious Dynasty Warriors.. uh.. warrior named Cheng Pu*

*jumps into air, lands on back of B-52*

Distract them, Cheng Pu! I need new pants!

[IronMonk]

I see the ape was just too temptign for you wasnt she!
i knever would have guessed,

*summons cloud of smoke, cloud dissipates and were the cloud was sits a crate...*

*i think you will find what you need in there*

*laughs maniacally*

[Mako]

*jumps off B-52, tells the pilot to "wait right here", and hurtles toward crate*

*cuts lid in two*

*cautiously edges to crate.... looks in.... and jumps back, eyes smoking*

Deear God, no! Stack upon stack of Ricky Martin pants! Aieeee!

*hurls self back on top of B-52*

What the hell do I pay you for, Cheng Pu?! You should've caught that one!

[IronMonk]

*Cheng Pu busily trying on new pants*

*IronMonk teleports himself on top of B-52*

it ends here!

[Edited on 22/5/2003 by IronMonk]

[Mako]

*grabs IronMonk, grapples, and then trips him*

*pushes head towards propellers*

Whoa, whoa! Wait, dude, this is so dangerous. I have an idea....

*opens hatch, hauls IronMonk inside*

Let's get on the controls of this thing and start dropping bombs on helpless Third World countries. Agreed?

[IronMonk]

*slaps Mako upside the head*

thats stupid man,

*pushes controles putting B-52 into a unrecoverable dive*

*teleports back into arena*

*summons couch and popcorn while he waits for one hell of an explosion*

this is good popcorn...

[Mako]

*jumps out open hatch, tumbles in air, flailing while B-52 blasts into jungle, exploding massively and sending monkeys scurrying for cover*

*lands ninja style*

I offered you friendship, you limey wanker! Now you die!

*hurls shuriken at IronMonk and also throws one ball of rice*

Popcorn this!

[IronMonk]

*shuriken fall hoplessly short*

*balls of rice pelt cushens on couch*

*IronMonk unleashes a barrage of popcorn at Mako*

[Mako]

Ow! Stop, you monster! They're salted!

*with one burst of strength, whips behind couch at Shinobi speed*

*picks up couch and IronMonk*

*throws in the direction of the flaming corpse of the B-52*

Now, be prepared to be mauled by angry monkeys! Muhahahah!

*IronMonk, couch, and hated popcorn are swarmed by monkeys*

[IronMonk]

*fends off agry monkies and gets idea*

*starts singing chinease opera to the monkies*

*after a few lines they pick up the tune and join in chorus*

*summons full tuxedo costumes for all the monkies*

*swayed by the new costumes they start to act*

*IronMonk jestures to Mako to join him on a freshly created couch*

*the monkies start act one*

[Mako]

*sits*

I've always loved monkey opera. I swear to whatever god you believe in that these monkeys are the epitome of excellent acting. No, wait... they should re-enact World War I! Isn't that a sweet idea?

[IronMonk]

i can see it now, WW1 the musical, we could have a romance between that monkey over there eating his hat and the one over there "mounting" that stump. and even a fude between those four beatign that fifth one with that stick!

[Mako]

Oh! And we need angry monkey pilots in biplanes! Yes, yes, I can see it now... that monkey over there, the one hurling excrement at the female, he can be heroic Pilot Smith, who shoots down hundreds of German monkeys, er, pilots. And over there can be Max Ausgekampfluaftshilaufengewher, the German ace trying to impress the invincible Smith! I'll supply the planes!

*draws hammer and lots of wood from nowehere*

*starts building monkey-sized airplanes*

[IronMonk]

and i will create the epic stage for our creation... ah hell ill just make th eintire city.

*snaps his fingers*

*they are standing center stage ina giant theater.*

*mako looks remorsly at his pile of wood*

oh i forgot something Mako... unsalted popcorn

*snaps his fingers again*

*beside them are two large bags of popcorn and goodies*

[Mako]

Nice! Now, monkeys, go, and amuse us! I propose that we cut right through the crap and have trench warfare between those five monkeys over there, and Pilot Smith starts dogfighting with Max Ausgekampfluaftshilaufengewher right away. Go, monkeys, fly!

[IronMonk]

i say we watch from the beginning. that way we get to see all teh exciting things. and anyways...

*snaps fingers*

ha!

*lights dimm, as monkies prepare for war...*

[Bluenose]

well theres 10 mins of my life im not gonna see again.... lol

[IronMonk]

but would you really have spent the time any better?

[Bluenose]

Hmm probably not, but i'll never know ;)

[Mako]

I'm sticking with "no comment" on that one.

Heh.

On a side note, didn't anybody want to see hwo the monkey thing turned out?!

[IronMonk]

lets just leave it to their emaginations

[blue_fire]

nooo i want to find out what happened. tell more :)
fight my children, fight :casstet:

[IronMonk]

the mokies are ours to controle...

*snapps fingers*

*Blue_Fire is transported elsewere*

what? he was loud... Mako pass the popcorn!